Goodness gracious, the hubub over Orphan. Ann Hornaday went bananas (in a bad way) for, it turns out, good reasons. Ebert spazzed out similarly, but in the other direction.

Ann and Roger: attempt to calm down, please. This film is no more, and no less, than a well-made retread of some shopworn horror movie conventions.

NB: my friend Will finds Peter Sarsgaard’s oevre to be, all in all, pretty creepy and suspect. But I’m not mad.

Trailer: